1 00:00:01,827 --> 00:00:03,655 [ orchestral music plays ] 2 00:00:03,699 --> 00:00:07,094 [ announcer speaks ] 3 00:00:09,966 --> 00:00:10,836 [ arrows whizzing ] 4 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,685 Because I'm the star, that's why. 5 00:00:33,729 --> 00:00:36,036 Voice: Try it, you'll like it. 6 00:00:36,079 --> 00:00:37,863 [ voices overlapping ] 7 00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:40,736 Woman: It'll do a 67 share. Come on. 8 00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:45,610 Hi there. Welcome to an "Alf Tales" story meeting. 9 00:00:45,654 --> 00:00:47,699 Today we're discussing 10 00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:50,702 why "Alice In Wonderland" is a dumb tale to do. 11 00:00:50,746 --> 00:00:53,009 [ voices overlapping ] 12 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:56,056 They think you wanna watch me chase a rabbit for 23 minutes. 13 00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:59,189 I give you more credit. I know you'd rather see... 14 00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,975 ...adventure, action! 15 00:01:03,019 --> 00:01:05,630 Me in a really nifty costume! 16 00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:08,068 [ yelling, jeering ] 17 00:01:11,332 --> 00:01:14,161 It's a nice book, Gordo. Lots of pictures. 18 00:01:14,204 --> 00:01:16,685 See the bunnies? 19 00:01:16,728 --> 00:01:18,904 There's no story, no motivation, 20 00:01:18,948 --> 00:01:20,732 and no love scenes. 21 00:01:20,776 --> 00:01:23,126 Either I perform feats of derring-do 22 00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,737 or you do "Please Stand By." 23 00:01:25,781 --> 00:01:27,652 Meanwhile, I'll be in my dressing room 24 00:01:27,696 --> 00:01:29,393 buckling my swash. 25 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,441 Rhonda: How can you be so stubborn? 26 00:01:33,484 --> 00:01:36,008 You know how much I wanted to play Alice. 27 00:01:36,052 --> 00:01:38,968 And you'd make a wonderful Mad Hatter. 28 00:01:39,011 --> 00:01:41,536 I don't do supporting roles anymore. 29 00:01:41,579 --> 00:01:44,147 - I'm a star. - Ooh! Gordon! 30 00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:46,454 Can't you give in this once? 31 00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:48,804 You want me to look like a wimp? 32 00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:51,023 I just hope that someday 33 00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:52,808 you find yourself somewhere where you don't get 34 00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:54,679 the star treatment you're used to. 35 00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:04,515 [ stutters ] She-she-she's really mad, Gordon. 36 00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:07,214 She'll get over it when she sees that I remembered her birthday 37 00:02:07,257 --> 00:02:09,259 with this great gift. 38 00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:11,261 [ loud bang ] 39 00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:14,221 No more "Mr. Nice Network Guy," Shumway. 40 00:02:14,264 --> 00:02:16,962 It's either "Alice" or... "Rick Tales." 41 00:02:17,006 --> 00:02:19,008 Now, start learning your lines! 42 00:02:20,314 --> 00:02:21,880 [ door shuts ] 43 00:02:21,924 --> 00:02:24,492 [ stutters ] I-I think you oughta stick to your guns 44 00:02:24,535 --> 00:02:26,189 in this "Alice" controversy. 45 00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:28,496 And I think I'd better read this book. 46 00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:32,587 "Chapter One. Alice was beginning to get very tired." 47 00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:35,024 See? She even bores herself. 48 00:02:40,725 --> 00:02:42,640 [ Gordon snoring ] 49 00:02:44,903 --> 00:02:46,775 - [ clinks ] - Huh? 50 00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:50,126 Help! Security! 51 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,172 I've just been robbed by a pit bunny. 52 00:02:56,872 --> 00:02:58,090 [ bell pings ] 53 00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:06,229 - [ thumps ] - [ elevator bell pings ] 54 00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:14,977 [ pings ] 55 00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,860 Yikes! 56 00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:39,610 Ooh! 57 00:03:52,406 --> 00:03:53,929 - [ growls ] - Yikes! 58 00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:56,888 Phew. 59 00:03:58,020 --> 00:04:00,675 [ woman screams ] 60 00:04:00,718 --> 00:04:02,242 [ screaming stops ] 61 00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:03,982 Hmm, a cat door. 62 00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:07,508 At least they won't go hungry down there. 63 00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:09,249 - Huh? - [ cuckoo chirps ] 64 00:04:11,599 --> 00:04:15,255 Hey! Come back with that, you felonious furball! 65 00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:16,995 [ grunts ] 66 00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:24,699 [ groans ] 67 00:04:27,876 --> 00:04:29,486 [ clatters ] 68 00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:32,924 "New Classic Diet Drink Me." 69 00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:35,927 - [ clicks ] - [ gulping ] 70 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,279 [ belches ] 71 00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:41,672 Aw, it's just soda pop. 72 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,936 Hey! 73 00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:55,251 I'm nothing without my sword. 74 00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:00,517 [ creaks ] 75 00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:03,868 Oh, sure-- I have to turn into a munchkin to find an open door. 76 00:05:03,912 --> 00:05:05,870 Now how do I turn back? 77 00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:13,269 "Tabby-Flavored Eat-Mes, Now With Fiber." 78 00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:33,028 I've landed in Forest Lawn. 79 00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:36,031 [ chirps ] 80 00:05:37,598 --> 00:05:39,382 "Wonderland"? Hah! 81 00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:41,602 They ought to call it "Unsanitaryland." 82 00:05:41,645 --> 00:05:43,604 [ voices overlapping ] 83 00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:47,782 Man: Think they can just cross over and insult... 84 00:05:49,697 --> 00:05:52,395 Man I don't want to know anything about it... 85 00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:54,484 Oh! Welcome to Wonderland! 86 00:05:54,528 --> 00:05:55,920 Now go home. 87 00:05:55,964 --> 00:05:58,401 Oh, great. Crotchety chrysanthemums. 88 00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:02,710 Serves you right, buddy. 89 00:06:02,753 --> 00:06:04,799 You trampled my cousin over there. 90 00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:09,934 Wah-choo! 91 00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:12,241 I've gotta get more sleep. 92 00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:14,678 [ snickers ] And what kind of outfit is that? 93 00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:16,593 You look like one of the Smith Brothers. 94 00:06:16,637 --> 00:06:18,943 I'm a musketeer. 95 00:06:18,987 --> 00:06:22,207 Yeah? Which one, Annette? 96 00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:25,297 Look, I was robbed by a big white pit bunny. 97 00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:28,997 He took a very expensive, custom-made slugskin purse. 98 00:06:30,128 --> 00:06:32,827 - Ah, a purse, huh? - Ooh! 99 00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:35,395 I'm explaining myself to shrubbery. 100 00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:37,440 For my girlfriend's birthday. 101 00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:38,528 That rabbit-- 102 00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,488 [ razzes ] 103 00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:45,883 That's him, the purse-snatching pit bunny! 104 00:06:45,927 --> 00:06:47,885 [ sputtering ] 105 00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:53,369 - Ah-- ah... - [ flowers laughing ] 106 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,066 - [ trumpet fanfare plays ] - What's that? 107 00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:57,895 All: The Queen! The Queen! 108 00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:02,813 The Queen? Great! She'll help me get out of this place. 109 00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:17,437 No! That's Rhonda's gift! 110 00:07:25,270 --> 00:07:27,229 [ rustling ] 111 00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:34,018 Excuse me, but there's been a mistake. 112 00:07:34,062 --> 00:07:37,108 Who are you, young man? 113 00:07:37,152 --> 00:07:41,156 Gordon Shumway-- TV star, bon vivant, raconteur. 114 00:07:41,199 --> 00:07:43,637 Around here, young man, 115 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,856 you're nothing but dead meat. 116 00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,858 Off with his snout! 117 00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:49,860 Off with his snout! 118 00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:52,384 Yikes! Don't I even get novocaine? 119 00:07:54,735 --> 00:07:56,954 Wait! I'm a visitor here. 120 00:07:56,998 --> 00:07:59,522 I'll report this to the Department of Tourism. 121 00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:01,350 [ gasping ] 122 00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,702 What's going on here? 123 00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:08,009 I said off with his snout! 124 00:08:08,052 --> 00:08:10,185 Begging your pardon, Your Majesty, 125 00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:12,579 but he's a visitor and was gonna report us 126 00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:14,015 to the Department of Tourism. 127 00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:16,974 You idiot! They're closed today. 128 00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:18,976 I want his snout! 129 00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:20,021 [ yells ] 130 00:08:20,064 --> 00:08:21,979 Oh! 131 00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:23,981 [ yelling ] 132 00:08:37,473 --> 00:08:38,909 [ pings ] 133 00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:44,654 [ babbling ] 134 00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:51,182 [ razzes ] 135 00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:54,621 This isn't a place, it's a living salad bar. 136 00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:56,361 [ birds chirping ] 137 00:08:58,450 --> 00:08:59,321 [ rumbling ] 138 00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:00,540 Whoa-aa! 139 00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:03,194 Ooh--! 140 00:09:04,718 --> 00:09:06,589 And I thought New Yorkers were rude. 141 00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:08,983 Yo, up here. Got any floss? 142 00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:11,855 Oh, boy! Dinner! 143 00:09:11,899 --> 00:09:14,205 Stop drooling. I'm not your dinner, 144 00:09:14,249 --> 00:09:16,077 I'm the Wooster-Chester Cat, 145 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:19,384 your guide along the highways and byways of Wonderland. 146 00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:21,299 Then guide me out of here. 147 00:09:21,343 --> 00:09:24,302 There's an ugly queen and a pack of cards after me. 148 00:09:24,346 --> 00:09:27,305 Yeah, I know, but what about Rhonda's gift? 149 00:09:27,349 --> 00:09:29,569 How do you know about that? 150 00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:33,094 I saw the first act. Look, you don't wanna mess with the Evil Queen, 151 00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:36,880 so your best bet is to get out of here and buy Rhonda a new purse. 152 00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:40,318 I can't. It's a one-of-a-kind slugskin clutch. 153 00:09:40,362 --> 00:09:43,931 Besides, that rabbit stole it, and I want it back. 154 00:09:43,974 --> 00:09:47,804 You're just another victim of Blanche du Lapine, 155 00:09:47,848 --> 00:09:50,677 the White Rabbit. Purse-snatcher extraordinaire. 156 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,504 If she's so good, 157 00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:55,072 maybe I can talk her into stealing it back for me. 158 00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:56,247 Where'd they go? 159 00:09:56,291 --> 00:09:57,945 That-a-way. 160 00:09:57,988 --> 00:09:59,729 But I really don't advise following them. 161 00:09:59,773 --> 00:10:01,905 No problem. 162 00:10:03,124 --> 00:10:04,995 Er, or was it this-a-way? 163 00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:16,746 [ razzes ] 164 00:10:16,790 --> 00:10:19,575 - Just when I was starting to trust houseplants again. - [ razzes ] 165 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,708 [ trumpet fanfare playing ] 166 00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,671 I have to get the Rabbit's attention. 167 00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:32,022 I'll do it. Hey, Blanche! 168 00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:37,375 It's him! Get him! 169 00:10:37,419 --> 00:10:40,509 Don't let him get away this time! 170 00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:43,730 Idiots! I want a new deck! 171 00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:02,792 [ jazzy saxophone music playing ] 172 00:11:12,019 --> 00:11:13,890 [ bubbling ] 173 00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:19,591 [ bubbling ] 174 00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:22,594 [ music resumes ] 175 00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:23,683 [ music stops ] 176 00:11:26,511 --> 00:11:28,513 Thanks for the lift. Now where am I, 177 00:11:28,557 --> 00:11:29,993 and how do I get out? 178 00:11:30,037 --> 00:11:32,517 You are in danger. 179 00:11:32,561 --> 00:11:34,911 But these will save you. 180 00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:36,304 [ pops ] 181 00:11:39,046 --> 00:11:41,613 Not those "Tabby-Flavored Eat-Mes" again? 182 00:11:41,657 --> 00:11:45,095 Oh, yuck! No, these are Worm Scout Cookies. 183 00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:49,056 They ward off evil spirits and ugly queens. 184 00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:51,928 And the money goes for a good cause. 185 00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:55,627 Look, what I need to do is get Rhonda's purse away from the Queen 186 00:11:55,671 --> 00:11:57,629 before she cuts off my snout. 187 00:11:57,673 --> 00:12:00,502 Ah, that will take three boxes. 188 00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:04,114 [ pops ] 189 00:12:07,509 --> 00:12:11,861 What you must do is get the Rabbit to admit she stole the purse. 190 00:12:11,905 --> 00:12:14,995 She's the only one the Queen listens to. 191 00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:16,779 How will I find her? 192 00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:18,912 Your carriage awaits. 193 00:12:20,043 --> 00:12:21,828 [ bubbles ] 194 00:12:25,483 --> 00:12:28,791 Remember, feed your cheese. 195 00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:31,576 Hey, these cookies aren't bad. 196 00:12:44,851 --> 00:12:47,070 Whoa! 197 00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:50,508 [ splashes ] 198 00:12:52,946 --> 00:12:54,904 [ splashes ] 199 00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:02,042 This isn't a dream, it's the main event. 200 00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:04,131 Watch your mouth, pal. 201 00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:07,003 I'm Tweedle Dum. And this is Tweedle Blonde. 202 00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:08,962 We're the Tweedle Sisters. 203 00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:12,530 We don't only sing, but we dance just as good as we walk. 204 00:13:12,574 --> 00:13:14,750 Aw, stop auditioning. 205 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,273 This guy's not a talent scout. 206 00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:18,058 [ splashes ] 207 00:13:18,101 --> 00:13:20,669 But I am a major television star. 208 00:13:20,712 --> 00:13:22,802 Maybe we can help each other. 209 00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,804 What's in it for us? 210 00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:26,936 Tell me where I can find the White Rabbit 211 00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:28,503 and you can be on my show. 212 00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:30,722 Nah, not good enough. 213 00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:32,855 Get us dates with Hulk Hogan. 214 00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:35,423 Or Barry Manilow. 215 00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:37,642 Just because we're sisters 216 00:13:37,686 --> 00:13:39,775 doesn't mean we have the same taste. 217 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,211 Or any at all. 218 00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:47,087 Okay. Last time I saw Blanche, 219 00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:49,872 she was going to the Mad Catter's Split-Pea Party. 220 00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:51,787 He never invites us. 221 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,876 Girls, girls! 222 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,530 My snout's hanging in the balance. 223 00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:57,401 Where's this Mad Catter? 224 00:13:57,445 --> 00:13:59,926 Over the river and through the woods. 225 00:13:59,969 --> 00:14:02,189 No, that's Grandma. 226 00:14:02,232 --> 00:14:03,973 Er, over that way. 227 00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:06,062 There's just enough time for another round 228 00:14:06,106 --> 00:14:08,195 of mud wrestling before dark. 229 00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:09,849 [ splashing ] 230 00:14:17,378 --> 00:14:20,424 A guy could make a fortune with a map concession in this place. 231 00:14:20,468 --> 00:14:23,514 We tried that. He got lost. Like you. 232 00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:25,255 Listen, you smiling hors d'oeuvre, 233 00:14:25,299 --> 00:14:27,388 you're supposed to be guiding me. 234 00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:30,173 Where's the Mad Catter's Split-Pea Party? 235 00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:31,740 Er, that-a-way. 236 00:14:31,783 --> 00:14:33,263 Er, or is it this-a-way? 237 00:14:33,307 --> 00:14:37,398 But I'm warning you, those guys are insane! 238 00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:55,459 [ snoring ] 239 00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:02,727 [ stutters ] Y-You can't s-sit there. 240 00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:04,686 That's m-my seat. 241 00:15:04,729 --> 00:15:06,383 But you're in your seat. 242 00:15:06,427 --> 00:15:08,777 Y-You don't understand. 243 00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:10,953 W-We drink soup in shifts. 244 00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:13,260 That way, we never have a dirty cup-- 245 00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:15,262 a-and who invited you, anyway? 246 00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:17,829 I'm looking for Blanche du Lapine, 247 00:15:17,873 --> 00:15:19,440 the White Rabbit. 248 00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:22,312 B-B-Blanche? She had to leave. 249 00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:25,098 She gave the Queen a nice gift and got promoted 250 00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:28,275 to Head Trumpeter in the Royal P-Procession. 251 00:15:28,318 --> 00:15:30,494 Thanks. 252 00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:32,670 Let me ask you something. 253 00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:35,673 Why did the turtle cross the road? 254 00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:37,719 [ rapid clanking ] 255 00:15:37,762 --> 00:15:41,201 M-M-Move! M-M-Move! Time for a f-fresh cup. 256 00:15:41,244 --> 00:15:44,291 Look, I'd love to stay, but I'm late for a very important date. 257 00:15:44,334 --> 00:15:48,425 Come on. Why did the turtle cross the road? 258 00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:52,168 It's chicken-- "Why did the chicken cross the road?" 259 00:15:52,212 --> 00:15:54,083 G-Go easy on him. 260 00:15:54,127 --> 00:15:56,042 He's n-n-nuts. 261 00:15:56,085 --> 00:15:59,523 Why should a chicken go to a Shell station? 262 00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:02,483 D-Don't pay any attention 263 00:16:02,526 --> 00:16:04,311 t-to the guy in the Errol Flynn costume. 264 00:16:04,354 --> 00:16:06,008 H-He's nuts. 265 00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:08,750 If I'm nuts, it's because of people like you. 266 00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:10,665 Now just tell me where I can find 267 00:16:10,708 --> 00:16:12,101 that larcenous pit bunny 268 00:16:12,145 --> 00:16:13,755 so I can get out of here. 269 00:16:13,798 --> 00:16:17,454 I-I believe B-Blanche is playing the P-Palace today. 270 00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:19,065 Where's the Palace? 271 00:16:19,108 --> 00:16:23,721 [ yawns ] Hollywood and Vine Streets. 272 00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:26,202 Not that palace, you gavoon. 273 00:16:26,246 --> 00:16:27,943 - [ alarm clock clatters ] - Ch-change cups! 274 00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:32,992 No problem. I'll find it myself. 275 00:16:46,744 --> 00:16:49,008 That was my reverse. Like it? 276 00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:52,054 Wonderful. Where's the Palace? 277 00:16:52,098 --> 00:16:54,317 Aw, that's easy. Right through that tree. 278 00:16:57,407 --> 00:16:58,626 Oof! 279 00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:03,065 Cat: Oh. I meant that tree. 280 00:17:09,941 --> 00:17:11,900 [ rustling ] 281 00:17:19,864 --> 00:17:21,779 I have to talk to you, Rabbit. 282 00:17:21,823 --> 00:17:23,607 All: 283 00:17:23,651 --> 00:17:25,870 Off with his snout! Off with his snout! 284 00:17:32,225 --> 00:17:34,618 [ trumpet fanfare plays ] 285 00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:41,277 Your snout is mine! [ cackles ] 286 00:17:46,021 --> 00:17:47,631 [ Gordon grunting ] 287 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,333 The nerve of this intruder. 288 00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:56,684 Trying to take my scissors away! 289 00:17:56,727 --> 00:17:58,816 Isn't that the King over there with that cute little bunny? 290 00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:09,914 That is my purse, young man! 291 00:18:11,481 --> 00:18:14,441 Your Majesty, this purse was stolen from me. 292 00:18:14,484 --> 00:18:19,010 Your swashbuckling attire is slugskin? 293 00:18:19,054 --> 00:18:22,492 Don't you know anything about fashion? 294 00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:25,365 I had it custom-made for my girlfriend's birthday, 295 00:18:25,408 --> 00:18:28,150 which I usually forget, so I need it back. 296 00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:30,065 Off with his snout! 297 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,372 But he's so sincere! 298 00:18:32,415 --> 00:18:34,548 Off with your snout, too! 299 00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:39,640 In fact, off with all the snouts in the entire zip code! 300 00:18:39,683 --> 00:18:42,208 Gordon Shumway, man without a snout! 301 00:18:44,558 --> 00:18:46,690 Gordon: I'll have to get new 8x10s taken. 302 00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:52,566 Bailiff: Next witness, the Mad Catter. 303 00:18:52,609 --> 00:18:54,307 This is ridiculous. 304 00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:55,960 Shh-hh! 305 00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:02,445 One witness at a time. 306 00:19:02,489 --> 00:19:04,708 Off with their snouts! 307 00:19:09,887 --> 00:19:12,542 Off with your own snout, you old bag. 308 00:19:12,586 --> 00:19:13,587 [ all gasp ] 309 00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:16,938 [ gasps ] Off with his tail, too! 310 00:19:18,069 --> 00:19:22,552 Now, about my purse, young man. 311 00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:25,903 That rabbit stole the purse from my dressing room. 312 00:19:25,947 --> 00:19:27,992 [ stuttering ] C-C-Can I sit down now? 313 00:19:29,646 --> 00:19:33,520 I did not steal it. You bought it for me. 314 00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:36,349 I did not. It belongs to-- 315 00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:39,743 Rhonda?! 316 00:19:39,787 --> 00:19:41,745 What are you, crazy? 317 00:19:41,789 --> 00:19:45,662 All: Surprise! Happy un-birthday! 318 00:19:45,706 --> 00:19:48,056 But it's not my birthday. 319 00:19:51,538 --> 00:19:53,366 It's your un-birthday, Gordon! 320 00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:55,629 In fact, it's everyone's un-birthday, 321 00:19:55,672 --> 00:19:58,675 except for mine, because I was born today. 322 00:19:58,719 --> 00:20:00,721 When did you turn weird, Rhonda? 323 00:20:00,764 --> 00:20:03,071 I knew you wouldn't understand. 324 00:20:03,114 --> 00:20:06,335 That's why I took the purse and made you follow me here. 325 00:20:06,379 --> 00:20:08,337 [ all cheering ] 326 00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:21,132 Get back! Stop showering me with gifts! 327 00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:24,875 Just a tiny slice-- maybe a little bigger. 328 00:20:24,919 --> 00:20:26,486 With a whisker. 329 00:20:26,529 --> 00:20:28,966 Wake up, Gordon. 330 00:20:29,010 --> 00:20:30,359 Huh?! 331 00:20:30,403 --> 00:20:32,883 Hah! It was a dream! 332 00:20:32,927 --> 00:20:35,234 Rhonda, open the credenza. 333 00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:37,279 There's something for you. 334 00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:38,802 [ drawer opens ] 335 00:20:40,195 --> 00:20:44,025 A slugskin purse! Oh, Gordon! 336 00:20:44,068 --> 00:20:46,897 It's a little beat up-- but it's lovely! 337 00:20:46,941 --> 00:20:50,379 You don't know what I went through to get that for you. 338 00:20:50,423 --> 00:20:51,641 You're not still mad at me? 339 00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:53,513 I'm not, but-- 340 00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:55,341 So, what's it gonna be, Shumway? 341 00:20:55,384 --> 00:20:57,168 I love this story! 342 00:20:57,212 --> 00:20:59,954 Let's do it all season. 343 00:20:59,997 --> 00:21:01,738 I knew you were a man of vision. 344 00:21:01,782 --> 00:21:03,914 You'll make a fabulous Alice. 345 00:21:07,396 --> 00:21:10,269 Alice? No! I refuse to wear-- 346 00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:11,748 Ugh! 347 00:21:17,014 --> 00:21:19,843 Sometimes I hate show-biz. 348 00:21:22,106 --> 00:21:24,108 [ laughs ] 349 00:21:26,154 --> 00:21:30,114 - ♪ Gordon, send us... - ♪ Oh, send us... 350 00:21:30,158 --> 00:21:35,076 ♪ Into outer space 351 00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:38,079 ♪ 'Cause there ain't nobody like you ♪ 352 00:21:40,429 --> 00:21:45,652 ♪ In the Melmacian race 353 00:21:45,695 --> 00:21:48,742 ♪ Teach us, Gordon 354 00:21:48,785 --> 00:21:51,005 ♪ Make us twitch. 355 00:21:53,790 --> 00:21:55,314 Hah! I kill me!